Post Tenebras Lux

So, final exams ended last Wednesday, and life has been beautiful ever since. I’ve read fiction. Fiction. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to indulge my overstuffed brain with something that I’m not required to regurgitate in the future. Marvelous! I read Memoirs of a Geisha, which you may have heard of because of the film coming out on Friday. I highly recommend it.

In addition to reading about the lives of young Japanese women, all that has been required of me is three hours per day at the YMCA. Three hours well served, mind you. You may never know what damage can be done to your soul and complete mindset in three hours until you’ve spent them with fifteen six-year olds who love nothing better than to lash out at each other in word and deed. I have a group of about four girls who I swear are going to bring the movie Mean Girls into elementary school life. They are beautiful, but vicious and savage. Frightening.

My favorite winter Y moment: The Sneeze. Here’s how it goes: Evil Johnny comes through the doors of the gym with watery, glass eyes. He begins to cough and sneeze, with a hint of mucus making its appearance. Then it begins. In slow motion, he leans his head back in preparation for the mother of all sneezes. He violently heaves forward while carried along by a nasal blast of hurricane proportions, only partially covering his mouth and nose. A light mist of saliva and mucus flows around him and affects all in a two-foot radius. As if this is not bad enough, he deals out the death blow. With his hands infected, he spots you. Before you can realize his intentions, he decides that at that exact moment he must express his undying love and devotion for you, his counselor. He rushes forward and engulfs you with his Hug of Death. Before you can fully realize what has occured, you are infected. That, my friends, is The Sneeze.

All that remains of this week is basically waiting for our flight to Huntsville, AL on Friday. I have some sermon research to do for New Years’ Day, which will keep me busy in the meantime. By the way, time spent with my folks equals unrivaled eating. My wonderful mother expresses her love by caring for her family, and a large component of this is having fantastic food available twenty-four hours a day. So, I am arranging a test this year. My current weight is 194lbs. I don’t want to hear any comments. I’m fat, we’ve covered this. When I get back from Huntsville on the 28th, I will update you on my weight and we’ll see just how much my mother really does love me. There’s nothing that says love more than the gift of obesity.