Post Tenebras Lux

So yeah, I’m not a superstitious guy, but I think that in my case, you’d be a fool not to see the signs. Let me explain. The picture to the left was taken in the twilight moments of 2005. Good friends. Cute, cuddly, terrified animals. Good times all around. A great evening. Let me illustrate.

Janel and I’s friends from the seminary and the Y were kind enough to put together a small New Year’s Eve shindig at their place. The evening began innocent enough at the Armadillo Grill, which by the way, has the best buffalo wings in Wake Forest. Actually, they are the only buffalo wings I’ve ever eaten in Wake Forest, but that’s beside the point. I’m a connoiseur- I know what I likes! Following dinner we all went over to Charlie and Emily’s place to hang out until the ball dropped. Games, IBC root beer (mmm), and diabetes-inducing fudge. Oh, and a spoiled-rotten ball of fur named Milly. But it ’twas too good to last. Chaos. Death. Intrigue. All were lurking around the corner of 2006.

See the photo at the right, while I explain. At precisely 12:00, we celebrated the New Year with kisses and confetti. Like a moron, I saw the confetti on all of us and decided it would be funny to roll on the floor and get coated in the stuff. While on the floor I took a brief rest, because I’m an old man and was up way past my bedtime. I took a deep breath, and that’s when it happened. Assassination! At the exact moment that my mouth was opened, some fiendish bandit who will remain anonymous thought it clever to throw the rest of the confetti bowl into the air. It didn’t scatter! Instead, the clump of confetti plummeted toward me on its death mission. One minute I’m enjoying a nice yawn on a piece of plush carpet, the next, I’m fighting for my life. That ball of confetti guided itself directly into my exposed airway. The next few moments were a blur, but I distinctly remember hearing howling laughter. I’m a moron. I’m a moron.